Bottled Chicken Justice FAQ
Q: Will I see Jesse Dorst's penis?
A: It's not in the script but everyone who was at the last rehearsal saw it for the better part of a sketch, so maybe.
Q: Will I be horribly offended?
A: For about three to five minutes of the total show.
Q: Will I be confused?
A: That really depends on how smart/drunk you are now doesn't it?
Q: How many bodily fluids will be onstage by the end of the show?
A: At least two types, from three people. More if someone suffers a massive headwound (a la "Murder at Death Cabin") or your definition of what constitutes a "fluid" is less stringent than mine.
Q: Will I pee in my pants and renounce God due to the sheer hilarity of this show?
A: Yes. Thank you for asking.
Q: Who should come to this show?
A: You, your friends, your co-workers, your enemies, your lovers, your shameful brief and former lovers, that one dude who is always around but it isn't clear who if anyone he's friends with, my parents, rubber chicken enthusiasts, bottle-drinkers, justice weighers, boisterous fellows, incorrigable scoundrels, odious cretins, the emotionally unstable, people who have recently been dosed with nitrous oxide, sad clowns, ugly balerinas, shitty wizards, reverse-zebras, angry popes, unchildren, fans of unconventional pornography, lovers of minimalism, people who want to sleep with cast members, people who enjoy buying t-shirts and posters, fans of adult swim, theatre nerds, spacemen, clones, people with problems, people with infuriatingly few problems, people motivated primarily by guilt, owners of vacuum cleaners, college students, graduate students, illiterate unfrozen cavemen, people who enjoy Chekov references, people who enjoy references to classical mythology, people who enjoy references to recent history, people who enjoy references to pop culture which references medieval culture, people who hate references and can ignore those parts, people who laugh loudly, people who feel deeply, people who are experiencing strange burning sensations, people who enjoy feeling saner in comparison to others, double half mermaids, bicyclopses, hairless wolfmen, Wall-Mart shoppers, everyone in the universe, somewhat renowned author Peter Bognanni.
Q: The facebook event warns that some content may not be suitable for children. This implies that other content is suitable for children. What life lessons can children learn from this piece?
A: Fate is cruel, chickens are detestable, justice is a farce, drugs are a scourge upon our streets, surprising things are physically possible, scientists are total dicks.
